Stuff...

Whenever I think about my stuff, I can't help but think about George Carlin's Stuff!!  I've had my stuff in storage, stuff in an apartment, stuff in a bigger house, back into an apartment and now stuff in a shed.

Before I moved to Florida, I left a 3 bedroom cottage in a U-Haul truck.  I took what ever would fit in the truck and in my car (which I towed behind).  Whatever didn't fit, I left behind.  I still had stuff packed in the apartment closets that I gave away after moving in and when I moved out of the apartment, I donated to a local organization. Now I still have stuff, and once in a while I regret things that I don't have but I survive!

I remember when my sister came to visit me in the apartment, I said to her, "you can sit down", and she said "there are so many things to see".  She was interested in my 'dog gallery'... one of my favorites.

So anyway, as I work on making this my home, I seriously think about what I want... what I want to feel, what I want it to convey and feel like to ours.  I want most  of all to feel and be happy!  I have been accomplishing that with color, so far.  But I've also used themes too that are important to me.

For example, my kitchen's theme is focused around a rainy weekend in Prague with one of my sisters and our Bohemian heritage.  Although it was a rainy weekend, I chose yellows as my primary colors to brighten things up.  I am happy with how it turned out.  Among others, there is a lot of Gothic architecture in Prague.  The Gothic elements I did use, stand out against the yellows.  The only elements used in the kitchen were "kitchen things" and "Prague things".  If it didn't have to do with one or the other, I took it out.  That is how my "lost shaker of salt" stayed there because salt goes in the kitchen!

my "lost shaker of salt"

As the kitchen opens up into the living room, I wanted to carry the yellow kitchen ceiling onto the living room ceiling and a color for the walls that would coordinate with yellow.  I still wanted it to be bright but also very happy.  

When picking out a theme, it was easy enough, as I've always lived close to the water and the beach is my favorite place.  Coming from up north, my decor had more elements that I'd consider nautical and wanted to infuse more tropical elements but still focused around the beach.  I used some sayings to keep positive, family photos, and beach pictures I've taken.

My bathroom is decorated around the accessories I bought just before I moved called, "Beach Memories".  It is made up of photos of children on the beach, and there are a few pictures of my own that I want to add.  That is how my map covered dresser wound up with a map of Florida and photos taken in different areas of Florida.
Beach Memories ~ My Bathroom 

My home may not be any one else's style, and no one else has to like it, but besides myself, when you walk in I want you to feel comfortable enough to be barefoot with sandy toes.  While someone may find my thrown drop cloth over my sofa sloppy, I find it adds to the comfy casual look I'm going for, as well as the quilt over  my chair.

I am using colors of outside on the inside:

• SUN: yellows 
• WATER: aqua, turquoise, blues
• SHELLS, SHELLS, and more SHELLS
• CORAL and FLOWERS

As I wait for things to grow and colors to bloom outside, I have been infusing color outside with different elements like chairs, pink flamingos,  flower pots, shell top tables, lights on the palm tree, shells in the garden, shells in pots...

Left on my to do list is: 

•  painting the hallway, probably yellow just to brighten it up with a gallery wall on one side and built in shelves on the other. 
• the washer and dryer are in the hallway and besides shelves above them, I want it to look "better"!
• my bedroom:  I don't know if I want to paint a color or not; as I am going tropical in there, I have decided on a bamboo fence for behind the bed; and that is as far as I've gotten.
• my spare room started off as an office as such but has become a catch all.  I have to redo the floors, which means a lot of moving things around.  I'd like to set it up for crafts to do in the heat and a day bed for just in case.
• I still want to do more outside, but that is a little at a time.
• There are still bags of shells to be put out!
• And there's that stuff in the shed!  To unpack, decide and organize!

It's all about stuff.  There comes a time when you have to decide how much stuff do you need to live comfortably and which stuff can you do without.  That's where I'm at... clearing out my stuff.

Ten things about me now...

I've seen this around a bit, so I thought I'd share 10 things about me that most of you don't know...my little getting to know 'me' post.  The thing is, where do I start and what would you want to know...

Let's see...

1. I was born and raised on Long Island, NY.  I am 56 years old, now on disability, living in a small, private community on the Space Coast of Florida with a little Chihuahua, named Heidi.
2. I have been married and divorced twice.  My idea about that is that I don't do marriage well... some people do, I just don't.
3. I moved to Florida with my Rottie, named "Journey". He was such a pal.  We drove down after numerous changes in a U-Haul towing my car behind.  All I knew at the time was that I had a job.  If I ever get my pictures off my dead PC, I will share that story in more detail...I never want to do it again but looking back it was quite the adventure journey.
4. After the 2008 down-fall, unemployed, I moved from the Treasure Coast to the Space Coast without my boy.  I will forever miss him.
5. Although I enjoy a cold beer on a hot summer day, my drink of choice is wine, but I love milk!
6. I enjoy living alone.  I enjoy living in Florida.  But I do miss being so far away from my family in NY.
7. I am learning what my limits are, as far as how far I can not push myself anymore.  That's been a rude awakening and I am trying to learn to be more patient with myself.
8. I love decorating, changing things up, arts and crafts, learning new things, reading, and music.
9. I miss shuttle launches but I do like rocket launches.  
10. I love my little back road adventures through the wildlife preserve.

So there you have it. 

WARNING!

WARNING!

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickles for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

by Jenny Joseph

  

Just because the poem above is about purple, take a look at this!

Now, about the sites I've been looking at and what brought this about.  You know how it goes; one click leads to another to another to another and so on and so on... that happens allot to me when I am not working on something else.  Yesterday, that's what happened, as you may have seen by the shares on Facebook!

So anyway, some how I wound up on this blog:

 A Beautiful Mess Inside

I've said before, "you know my name, but you don't know my story" and when I started this journey I said I would tell you the stories as we go along.  My rooms tell a story.  Did you ever read someone else's story or a chapter of their story and it could be yours!!??  That's what was happening.   I came across her post.

I was hooked.  You can change the names, to protect the innocent, but it was nice to hear that some not only was a mess inside but would admit it!  Sometimes it is so good to know that you are not alone...you are not the only one...someone else has traveled a similar journey... I signed up for her newsletter and received A Beautiful Mess Guide.   I also found her on FB too!  Just reading "About" her makes me smile.  She did make me think... and think about writing a letter to my younger self.   Dear Self....we'll see.  It will take some thought to write and not something I am ready today to just type out but a good possibility.

So then I started looking to see what was shared on FB... I get so much inspiration from other posts too.  I used to collect positive quotes and now I see so many that I try to share them as I find them.  I think we need to spread as much positives as possible. I think that women should encourage each other, hold a torch up, and lend a hand and/or a shoulder to one another.  There are so many things that make us more similar than different.  

Then, I found this post:  a-gambrel-style-cottage-in-hyannis-port-that-isnt-afraid-of-color   And that's when it hit me!  When I get old I'll wear purple!!  I am considered old, or at least older than I've been before.  Although purple and red don't go and don't suit me, my bold colors in my home do!

 

Be free in your spirit always...

In a recent morning devotional I read a line that hit me between the eyes. It said: Be free in your spirit always…do not waste your time attaching yourself to hurt and pain. (Joan Anderson)

It has taken me a very long while to be able to say, 'I will not dwell in the past, nor will I waste my time being attached to the hurt and pain.' 

Today is one of those days that my mind wonders and wanders but I am OK.  I was married at 21. My son was born 3 years later.  I remember that day well - like it was yesterday.  He was a cutie.  Six months later his Dad and I separated.  There is so much more to the story, of course, but today is my son's birthday.

1981 My First Mother's Day

As any other mother, that was not given that manual at the hospital or later with the divorce, I made a shit load of mistakes BUT did the best I could with everything I knew, and everything I had, to do the best I could.  To anyone out there: follow your heart.  I was a single parent most of his first 18 years.

During the end of my second marriage, he went to live with his Dad.  From that point, our relationship went down hill.  I always prayed that time was on my side and it would turn around but 12 years later, it hasn't.

I've always been a big card sender.  So in the beginning I'd send a card every Hallmark holiday and then every birthday and Christmas.  In the beginning, I still shopped on birthdays and Christmas.  Then it just became a Christmas ornament.  Every move I made, these wrapped gifts (got boxed up) came along with me.  Every card I sent went unacknowledged.  There were not cards, gifts or even a call to me for my birthday or holidays.

As I started this journey, and started to clean out the shed, I came across these plastic storage bins of unopened wrapped gifts I'd been holding on to for 12 years!

2000 Mother's Day

KEY WORD: holding on!  It is with great sadness, today, I am acknowledging that I must and am letting go. 

From things I hear, I don't know him anymore.  I am not around so it is easy to blame, distort and live in a place of hurt and pain.  But that is not a healthy place for me... I have to set my spirit free.  Moments out of my control are talked about with dates, times and people like it just happened.  Things where I came through are forgotten but that's OK, I did what I could as a mother.  It was my job.

So.... today:
 I wish my son a very Happy Birthday.  I wish him a good life and pray that life is good to him.  "I'll love you forever I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living My baby you'll be." (Robert Munsch)

love ya




meanwhile:

I am that which has emerged from the fire.