I should paint myself a sign that says:
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
or
WORK IN PROGRESS!!
and keep it handy at all times. I just have to keep moving BUT I have to remember to stop before I fall. Right now, I have a full plate of things I haven't finished and things that need to be done to make some more changes. I am in the process of dismantling everything I have done outside over the past few years... but sooner than later. I've worked outside all week and today I am having a hard time moving, so here I type.
After that, I have to re-think and re-sort what I am keeping and donate the rest, and move. I am staying here but to another trailer that has been updated, repaired and upgraded... with a work shop and a screened in patio! and my own spot to paint in!
It has been a battle of the mind and the body over the past few years but I keep realizing that my body can not do what it used to no matter how badly the mind wants to. Not having to make repairs and such (in the new place) will save a lot of energy for things I like to do, for things I enjoy. I won't be so bogged down with the overwhelming thoughts and pressure put on myself of how, when or can I, do by myself what needs to be done.
So, in order to get THERE I have to keep moving around HERE again... but today I want to work on some driftwood paintings...I still have canvases to work on too... I'm looking for something that is different that I can hook into... something that people will have to have, or know when they look at it that it is mine or my style... so in between, that's what I'll be doing in my zone, in my Happy Place!
That's great! Having everything done and organized will be fantastic. No monkey on your back when you do sit down to do what you like best.
ReplyDeleteThank you! That's the light at the end of the tunnel. Can't wait!!
DeleteOh nooooo..... after all the work you've done on your home. As good as the move is, I know it has to be a little bittersweet. My apt. lease is up at the end of March, and if I want to be able to use the washer and dryer my daughter gave me last month, I too have to move - and it's a want to/don't want to kind of thing. Moving "forward" in our lives, can be so daunting at times! There's the physical moves we have to make - but there's also the mental and emotional forward moves, and those can be the most difficult and painful I think. At least for me it has been. I was thinking of you earlier, wishing I could be more like you, and go after my "life". There's still some kind of blockage inside. Something I'm still not able to face and admit yet... but, I'm working on it. Your example helps tremendously! So, wishing you much success with your move!!! And I pray it goes easily and smoothly for you! Looking forward to photos of your new home. Hugs to you!!, and Congratulations!!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteTrust me I never planned on moving EVER again! But an opportunity knocked and it is best for me and going forward. The reality is out weighing the emotional and physical right now so I keep plugging away. I'm already decorating in my mind and I can't wait to have a screened in patio and workshop ready and waiting for me!
Don't beat yourself up...it doesn't happen over night!